Combining Success on the Farm with Success in Your Marriage

Farming can sometimes be overwhelming. Marriage can be, too! Put farming and marriage together and you really have a challenge. However, ask most farming couples and they will tell you that they wouldn’t trade their lives for all the money in the world. It’s important that you put time and effort into your marriage but the demands of the farm can make that difficult. That’s because separating work and home life is not always easy. It also is difficult to forget about work when your work is all around you all of the time. Further, much about farming is driven by weather and many other unforeseen circumstances. Some jobs on the farm simply cannot wait until tomorrow.

So how do you strike the necessary balance between running your farm and keeping your marriage healthy and happy? Below are some tips for helping to keep your relationship going strong no matter what stresses you may be experiencing on the farm. Whether you incorporate all of these tips into your marriage or just one, you’ll be amazed at the difference small changes can make when it comes to the health of your marriage.

1. Plan time together off the farm. This can be difficult but if you make your plans far in advance, it can be done. It’s amazing how just a few days alone together can make you appreciate one another and remind you why you fell in love in the first place! Try to go on a date night. Even if you can only do it once a month, it will give you something to look forward to between dates! Go to church together on Sundays, and maybe to breakfast afterward.
2. Take time to talk things over when something is bothering you – but make sure the time is right. The right time is NOT when one of you is on the way out the door or late at night after a long or stressful day! Make sure you choose your words carefully, as well. A calm conversation will be much more productive than a screaming match!
3. You both work hard to keep the farm running smoothly. It’s amazing how much it means to your spouse when you tell him or her that you appreciate all they do. Don’t assume the other person knows it, either! It’s amazing how many men will say that his wife should know he is working hard for her and their family, and vice versa. And even if your spouse does know that he or she is appreciated, it is still nice to hear!
4. Check in on each other during the day. With cell phones, this is much easier than it was years ago. No matter how busy or stressed you are with the cattle, crops, or keeping the house, you need to make the time to touch base and say, “I love you and hope your day is going well.”
5. Realize that you are in this together. If you start adopting the attitude that you need to take care of your needs first, chances are your spouse will adopt the same attitude. The more you help and nurture your spouse, the more your spouse will want to do the same for you.